Tuesday, December 31, 2013

static

Relationships are funny things. Nebulous, tedious. All encompassing a spectrum of emotions from rage to passion, hatred to that thing called love. And what is the point at the end of the day? The amelioration of ourselves? A subtle or sometimes overt attempt to come to a mode of self discovery? A surfacing of consciousness of our desires and our subsequent satisfactions and dissatisfactions with our partners, our selves, our worlds?

It's not an easy process - this becoming. Undulating waves of rejection and emotional rifts that cause one to double back. Regression. That's what a break up feels like. Progression. That's what love feels like. Simple. Two simple steps to living with other people on this planet. A swift pendulum, back and forth, ticking. Ticking. Ticking.

And all the while, in the middle of this black and white merry-go-round, I watch the gray that blankets my days in dark clouds, spin uncontrollably closer and closer, blurring my vision of what is, what could be, and what has been into a perpetual soft fog. A comfortable haze. A tight knit screen. It's dangerous I know, it's dangerous to call this safe.